


I Bloom Just For You

by okaethen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:52:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaethen/pseuds/okaethen
Summary: Taeyong got to love Johnny Seo





	I Bloom Just For You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry  
> based off of [this tweet](https://twitter.com/johnnys_strap/status/1061784624383385601)

The dial tone ended with a click and sigh pushed past Taeyong’s lips as the woman over the phone robotically told him wait for the beep to record his message. He didn’t even know why he thought it was a good idea to leave a message, Johnny never listened to his messages, complaining that it was better to send a text. Taeyong’s eyes prickled as he remembered how Johnny complained about his messages. He hoped Johnny would get the hint that this was important, seeing as though Taeyong never left him messages. 

_**Beep…** _

Taeyong took a deep breath, which hurt him, but not as much as what he was about to do. “Hey Johnny,” he started, and the words just continued flowing right out. “Do you remember when we met? I was six and I had just fallen off my bike. I couldn’t cry because I was scared the boys down the street would laugh at me even more. But you came over and helped me up. You saw the tears in my eyes and told me it was okay to cry. You hugged me and I did cry until my mom came over. I was sooo embarrassed.” Taeyong laughed bittersweetly at the memory. “But I knew. I knew that day that you were going to be my best friend from then on. We kinda just drifted together, remember? You used to always follow me around on the playground even though I barely talked. You always talked though. You never left me, you just kept telling me about your dog and how your mom would take away your nintendo. Oh my god you were so annoying. I remembered thinking how much of a dork you were. But one day you were sick and you weren’t there, remember? That was the first and last day you ever missed a day of school. I remember how lonely I felt on the playground and how I cried and hugged you the next day because I missed you. I got sick the next day, but I would always remember the smile on your face and how you hugged me back. We were inseparable from that day on.” A smile made its presence known on Taeyong’s face as the first tear of the night rolled down his face.

“In third grade, I started to be bullied by those awful boys in our class because I wore a skirt to school. I’d try my best to hide the the bruises on my chest, but you were-- are--unrelenting. You always have this incessant need to  _ know  _ everything. God I really did try to ignore it but then one day I was called into the office and I remember my heart dropping when I saw you in there with those boys. You had a bruised eye and I wanted nothing more than to run over to you and make sure you were okay. The principal looked at me and asked if I knew these boys. I told him I did. You were breathing so hard and it scared me a little.” Another bitter laugh. “The principal explained to me that you had attacked them because you believed they were bullying me. I broke down then and there. I told the truth and you were suspended but the boys were expelled for having physically harmed me. I realized that day that I could never hide anything from you.” 

Taeyong closed his eyes and tilted his head backwards, staring unto the ceiling. His throat constricted and his chest closed in on itself. He lurched forward and coughed onto the table, spilling blood and petals. Petals that were originally yellow but were now stained an undeniable shade of red.

“Sorry…” He inhaled through his nose and felt his tears fall faster down his face. “Anyways,” he croaked. “In seventh grade we had to talk about families meant to us in health class. I swear that project was so stupid and Mrs. Kim was so annoying. But when you stood up and talked about your family, you started describing your brother which I knew for fact you didn’t have. I squinted at you and you winked at me and in that moment I realized you were talking about me. It was my turn in a few minutes and I had so much anxiety about talking out loud to the class but you gave me two thumbs up and I forgot my speech. Instead, do you remember what I did? I started going on and on about how family doesn’t have to be blood related. I talked about my step-father and how I still considered him my family. I talked about you. Well not about you, but about how friends can eventually become family. I realized that day that you were more than my friend, you were my family.”

Taeyong’s gut clenched and he launched himself forward again, the blood coming down in larger amounts, the slick sound splattered over the white marble of his kitchen counter. He wiped his mouth, determined to finish this before he no longer had the chance.

“In ninth grade I wore a dress to school because I thought it was pretty. It took everything in me, but I felt so right in it. So I walked confidently to school and I ignored the comments other boys would make about me. Oh it was such a mistake on my part. We had gym class and afterwards, when I went to shower, I folded the dress over the door of the shower stall. Once I was done, I turned back and it was gone. The guys in my class stole it from me and I was standing there, naked and cold with nothing but boxers and a towel. I texted you in tears, and you came running. You never skipped a class before, but you did for me. You gave me your hoodie and then dove into the lost and found to find me a decent pair of pants. I ended up in the ugliest pair of jeans I’d ever seen, but I didn’t complain. Not when you were forced to wear an ugly ass flannel shirt that had MILF Hunter on it. That was fucking dreadful and we laughed about it as we skipped that class period entirely. We ended up finding the dress torn up and dirty later that day outside the school. You held me as I cried in your chest about how unfair the world was. That was the day I realized I loved you.” Taeyong looked at the blood on his counter and dipped his finger in it, drawing a heart in the lukewarm liquid. 

“It wasn’t until senior year that I realized I was in love with you though. We were talking about colleges, remember? That was a three months ago, actually. You were accepted in a school in America. You have a full scholarship there, yeah? You were about to give it up for me. I remember when you looked into my eyes and said, ‘we’re glued together Taeyongie, you and I should stick together through college too!’ I wanted to cry in that moment because you were about to give up the opportunity of a lifetime because I was too stupid to come with you. We fought about it so much. We didn’t talk for a week, but I think it was for the best. That was the week I had started coughing up yellow petals. God even if I wanted to talk, I couldn’t.” Taeyong’s eyes started to hurt with all the tears he’d shed. He set his phone down on the counter and fully retched up so much blood and petals, he felt so lightheaded and dizzy. He gripped onto the counter with his life. The world started to spin around him.

“They’re Agrimony petals, if you’re wondering. They say agrimony is the remedy for people who keep their troubles hidden under a mask of pleasure and happiness. The sad clown masking inner hurt by being the life and soul of the party is an Agrimony archetype. Friends are often the last to know that anything is wrong in the Agrimony person's life. I guess that suits really well. I’ve gone years hiding my feelings for you Johnny. I was so scared that I hid it from myself, but I just… Thinking about you leaving, no matter how much I know it’s what you should do, it broke something in me. You have to go to America Johnny. You have to continue your education, go on with your life, you hear?” Taeyong’s tears resurfaced again, he hacked out another onslaught of blood and petals. He leaned backwards, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, but he steadied himself.

“There is going to be so much left for you in life. You’re going to do so much,” he murmured. “You know what agrimony also represents? Thankfulness. Gratitude. I always loved you Johnny, and I always will. I am so thankful to you and everything you did for me in my life. Your very existence had given me purpose and hope. I guess that’s the reason I rejected my mom’s offer to get surgery. But I know deep down she knew too. She knew I was in love with you before I did… She respects my wishes to go through with this. My life without you in it would be so hollow and dark. Surgery would be worse than death, I guess. I just want you to know that this isn’t your fault. I know you’re going to blame yourself. I know you already know about this. You never kept your nose to yourself. I want you to know that I love you Johnny Seo. With every damn petal in my body, I love you. Thank you and I’m sorry for leaving like this. You will get over this and go on though. You must. Bye Johnny.” 

He ended the call and fell forward onto his counter, his body convulsing with his last bursts of blood and petals. In a last effort, Taeyong picked up a few of the flowers and held them in his hand. He heaved as his respiratory system collapsed inside him. The roots in his chest had wrapped themselves tightly around every rib bone and constrained every last breath. It was worth though. His whole life was worth it because he got to love Johnny Seo.

**Author's Note:**

> [yell at me on tweeter](https://twitter.com/johnnys_strap)
> 
> [destroy me on cc](https://curiouscat.me/okae_then)


End file.
